I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
this boner is exhausting
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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