I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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