I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
