At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
