I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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