what day is it and did you see me today?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Found your dick twin last night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize