To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
