First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
