I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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