Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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