Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize