Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
