Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
