does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
