Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
