Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
