Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize