So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
