It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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