You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
