My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
