am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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