New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
