Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
