hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
