he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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