So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
