He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
