that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What drink are we having for lunch?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
