just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize