I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize