Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
