Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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