somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
