Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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