How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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