he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
