hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
