fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just cropdusted the office
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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