whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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