quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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