i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
