Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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