He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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