i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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