Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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