One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
