if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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