Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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