I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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