he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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