Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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