So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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