can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
