the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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