Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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