I could have mohawked her pubes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
