Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
