I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
