im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
