im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
