Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
