Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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